Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Perfect Blog

You know, studying the Bible is great and all, but what I really need is the Blog of Mary . . .

(Fades to black. Mary sits center stage. Lone spotlight. Mary writing with VO)

Eleventh day of the fifth month, really late at night

Jesus threw this biggest fit tonight. He wanted to stay up and watch the local actors. I tried to explain to him that it was an adult play, but he was having none of that. I stayed firm for as long as I could, but when he screamed for ten minutes straight, I just couldn't take it any more. I promised him we would go to the market and get fresh grapes tomorrow if he would just go to bed. He finally relented. I really wanted to make him sleep with the donkey, but God probably wouldn't look kindly on his Son being in the barn when he has a perfectly good straw mat inside. Sometimes I just can't wait for him to go to school.

(Scene two. Mary sits in a hot bath)

Fifteenth day of the seventh month, late afternoon.

Guess where I am!? In the bath! and it's hot! Elizabeth took John and Jesus to the market and I was finally able to bathe. I think it's been at least three weeks since I had a hot bath to myself. My face is a mess. I'm exhausted and I'm growing a unibrow. Elizabeth promised to keep Jesus for a few hours, and although I know there are things around the house I need to be doing, I just can't right now. I need a break in the worst way. The dirty laundry will still be there tomorrow.

(End Scene)

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