Thursday, September 14, 2006

Baby Girl

Dear Sita Leigh,

I know it's crazy of me to be writing to you at all, but I'm feeling a bit melancholy and you were the one I wanted to talk to. Your dad and I have decided to not have any more children, and while I know it is for the best, it still breaks my heart just the same. I love your brothers with all my heart, but you were the one I always imagined growing up. I pictured us shopping, having spa days, fighting and being best friends. I guess I was always so close to your grandmommie, that I couldn't imagine not having a daughter of my own. And here I am with two little boys and I space in my life where you should be.

This is a bit over the top, I know, but I thought it may help to get it out and let you go. It's silly really, to be upset over a child I've never met, but there it is. Your mom's a nut job. She loves you though, here or not.

Love, me


Nicole said...

OH my goodness, that was the sweetest and most heartbreaking entry. I loved it. Glad you wrote it!

Ballpoint Wren said...

Aw, Erika, I had that mental conversation, once too.

The clincher for the deal was the statistical probability that the third child would be a boy anyway (for some reason, after having two boys you're much more likely to have a third, barring any miscarriages or stillbirths).

Not that I don't love my boys, but it would've been nice to have my little girl.