I hadn't thought to share this story, but here goes. For Tamara.
Peyton is definitely our high maintenance child. Shey, well, he's newly 3 and acts it, but it's a normal 3, not a sly, cunning, whatever I can do to piss you off 3.
Peyton, well, I'm generally not sure what to do with him. He's slick, if you know what I mean. I worry a lot that if we don't get it under control now, he will be out of control later on. Not much works for him, though, in the form of punishment. Any sympathy he has for acting up, hurting one of us and so on, quickly fades.
Yesterday after work, I picked the boys up and we headed to Wal-mart to get a baby present, school supplies and some juice. The boys were acting pretty well behaved and we were moving through the store with little incident. Shey had picked out a Dora coloring page and we were keeping an eye out for something for Peyton as well.
As I got to the very back of the store, Peyton suddenly says, "I have to go to the bathroom." His eyes were big and he kinda grabbed himself. (Which is a WHOLE other story and one I will ask for suggestions on later, the grabbing, the incessint grabbing!) I asked him to hold on, we were almost done and the bathroom is at the front of the store, next to the registers.
He whined a bit about needing to go, but that he could probably hold it. I tried to finish up as fast as I could and we quickly walked to the front.
I couldn't find a register directly in front of the bathrooms (I would have sent him to the women's), so we walked past the clerks and went to stand in front of the restroom. I told him to go on in, I was going to wait with the stuff and Shey right outside the door (still the women's and there is no real door, per se). He got a funny look on his face and said, "I really didn't have to go. I just wanted a drink of water and I knew you wouldn't let me get one."
I was livid.
As calmly as I could, I told him, no, I wouldn't have come to the front for a drink of water, but you could have gotten one on the way out. He argued that some time in the past, he had asked for water and I denied him. The nerve of me, I know!
I further informed him that because he had lied, he would not be getting a drink of water, OR a toy. Well, that got his attention and his eyes welled up.
We marched back to the line as he tried to plead his case. Nope, not hearing it.
I really don't think he would have felt any shame for what he had done had I not mentioned the toy. I think it is his lack of remorse that bothers me the most. He really has become a disrespectful smart mouth, and I am afraid one day, I may just slap the smirk off his face.
Larry and I talk about it quite often, and we try to be more patient with him, not raise our voice and so on, but he can just be infuriating most of the time. Even when he is being sweet, he goes overboard.
I really don't want to use medication for him, if it was maybe necessary, but I wonder if it wouldn't slow his mind down enough that we could actually work with him and enjoy being his parents.