Wednesday, January 30, 2008

East to the West

I could listen to Casting Crowns "East to the West" on repeat all day long. They will be here in February and I really wanted to go to the concert, but Mom had a wedding they were commited to and my friends here that I know listen to Christian rock are planning a wedding and can't afford the extra expense. Anyhoo, maybe Way FM will give tickets away and I can win some.

Pretty much all of Casting Crowns' songs strike a nerve within me and "East to the West" is no exception. It's so incredibly hard to live in an area where none of our close friends are church goers and having a husband that is Jewish. Larry's gone with me to church, but he's just not comfortable there. I never appreciated how difficult it was for mom to take me alone week after week until I had the kids and got myself together enough to find a church home.

Tamara and I were talking the other day about those videos they would show us in high school about drug addicts and the like hitting rock bottom and finding Christ. I remember at the time, and even sometimes now, envying them in their struggles because they had something in their life that was so difficult that they had to rely on their faith and the changes in their life were so drastic.

I know this is silly and immature and I don't wish heartache on myself or my family. My personal demon is waiting for a huge sign when I should be listening for the whisper. To know that even though I don't feel the change, that it is being made within my life and my children are benefiting more than I could ever know.

6 comments:

tamara said...

My favorite song of theirs is Stuck in the Middle. It's a really good one. Hang in there, my friend. I know what you are going through.

Mom said...

He is forever calling. You just have to start listening. Look for Him and He will be there. It's a daily thing. He is in all...give Him the glory for it.

I love you,
Mom

Sylvia said...

Hi Erika,
It's Rebecca's mom. You may not realize how many moms read ya'lls blogs (old moms!)I can't imagine what it would be like attending church without family and friends around for that support. Stick with it for yourself and your kids. I amen what your mom said. I am going to listen to that song. You might even enjoy going to the concert by yourself for what you would get out of it. Your children are beautiful! I'm glad ya'll have the blogs to stay connected and have each other's support in being a mom. I think about you and your mom often and will be praying for you.
Sylvia

carrie said...

I love this song, too. I cannot imagine how hard it is to go to church by yourself! I admire you for taking that step. Brad did not go to church at all until high school. He has an amazing faith because he knows what it is like to not have that hope. I will pray that you will see that sign or hear that whisper!

Kristin said...

You must hold on to the promise that He will not stop until He has completed His good work in you. I think I've said on my blog before that I believe that good work is completed when we are with Him. He never stops loving you. And, even though you may feel alone (at church, in your struggles, etc.) you never are alone.

Rebecca said...

I cannot say anything that hasn't already been said by all of these wonderful women. I will be praying for you.