Thursday, June 11, 2009

Why the Guilt?

My Best budders, Tamara, just got back from a great vacation with her hubby. That's right, just her and her man, the beach and nothing much to do. She wrote a lovely post about it, but then at the end, she rights (or writes, if we are being grammatically correct) "Of course, we felt guilty for not bringing our kids and being selfish, but we both needed this little trip more than we have needed anything before in our marriage." Huh.

I promise I am not picking on my girl, because it's not just her, I see this time and time again with "mommy bloggers" all over the blogosphere. The guilt. The never ending guilt.

Why? Why has this overwhelming blanket of guilt been placed on mothers all over the country to be the perfect parent? When did our children become the number one priority all day, every day of our lives? Please understand, and I think you do, yes, your children are a priority. They need to be loved and fed and treated well, etc. etc. But you know, sometimes other things need to come first and that's ok.

It's no wonder that the divorce rate is so high in our country. It's really no wonder that there are so many unhappy mothers out there who have wrapped themselves up so much in their children's lives that they don't even know who they are anymore.

I know that I am super, super blessed to have family nearby that can watch my boys regularly so that Larry and I have a chance to enjoy being husband and wife, but if I didn't, I hope that I would still find a way to spend time with him alone. Even if it means putting on the tv for an hour and sneaking off to our bedroom. Which, hell, we even do that too.

Anyway, that kinda got away from my original intent, which is don't feel guilty about doing things for yourself! Enjoy that date night, the hour working out, the mani-pedi, or even the vacation. The happier you are as a woman, the better parent you can be to your kids.


Chelle said...

Hear, hear!

Rebecca said...


SuZ said...

It's not that I have a problem with guilt... I just love being with her so damn much that I forget to take care of myself!


tamara said...

Hey - I didn't feel that guilty. Trust me, there was more enjoyment than there was guilt. It was probably more like we wanted out kids to enjoy the beach, too. Any place other than the beach and I wouldn't have felt guilty at all.

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

amen. if for no other reason than it makes us better mothers!