I'll admit that after reconnecting with some of my high school (and even further back) friends lately on blogger, that I have censored my posts and the information I offer to the blogging community. We went to a small private Christian school and it was an automatic response to keep certain traits and habits hidden. And while I feel I have grown tremendously in the past couple of years in my efforts to reconnect with my upbringing, there are still some activities that I do partake of and hold on to that don't coincide with the 75% of me that is trying to live a more Godly life.
All that being said, there is one habit I am ready (although maybe not all the way willing) to ditch and I am going to put it out there for your prayers and accountability.
I started smoking (cigarettes, not the other) when I was 18 and have continued to do so more on than off the past 12 years. I stopped when I was pregnant and then stupidly picked it back up again after having each boy. I've never been a heavy smoker, 3 maybe 4 a day, and if I needed to, I could go days to a week without having one and be fine, which really just makes it even sillier that I keep it up. I rarely buy my own, content to bum off my friends around me and give them money, or buy their coffee instead.
I only smoke at home when we have friends over, but Peyton is definitely old enough to be influenced and remember it now, so it is time for me to be an adult and quit. If not for my own health, then for my kids.
I haven't had one since Friday, but I also haven't felt well this week, so it's been easier. In a few days when I have my energy back and I'm bored, stressed, or whatever at work, I know I will think "one won't hurt."
So that's it, all out there for everyone to see. And no, while it's not the worst habit in the world, like crack or whatever Amy Winehouse is on, it's not the best either. Please send your thoughts and prayers this way, I'm going to need them.