Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Peace at a Country Concert

My high school boyfriend, Robert, loved Brooks and Dunn, the country duo. We listened to their music quite a bit and went to two of their concerts during our tenure together. The first concert was in Birmingham and occurred after one of our break-ups and getting back togethers. I remember standing beside Robert, listening to "That Ain't No Way to Go," looking up at him and seeing tears running down his cheeks.

"Lipstick letter 'cross our mirror this morning saying 'Goodbye, Baby', you left without warning. Like a thief in the night, you ran away with my heart."

He told me later that he had been so upset when I broke up with him and that he felt it had come out of nowhere. I can't remember now the exact circumstances of the break up, but I do remember that moment and the love I felt for him in that space and time.

After we broke up for good and Larry and I started dating, I didn't necessarily stay clear of Brooks and Dunn, but I didn't seek them out either. Not sure if it was a subconscious decision, or just because Robert always liked them more than me.

They've played several times in our area and we've never been. I didn't think I knew enough of their songs anymore to warrant the price of admission and Larry never expressed an interest in their music.

We found out recently though that Brooks and Dunn were beginning their last tour and I decided it would be nice to see them one last time. They always did put on a good show. We were going to purchase lawn seats, but a few days before the concert, my boss offered me his seats, which were great. Thirteen rows back and near the end of the row.

Larry and I had a great time. The group still puts on a great, high energy concert and I was surprised that I still know all of their songs. They didn't play "That Ain't No Way to Go," but they did play another oldie that was amazing, "I Believe"

"I raise my hands, bow my head
I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red
They tell me that there's more to life than just what I can see
Oh I believe"

I could feel the emotion running through the crowd and tears welled up in my eyes.

Sometimes it is incredibly hard to do the things I know I should while living down here, so far from my family and friends that are active church goers. I admit that I don't go every week, but I do make a point to not let too much time pass between services. And I always take the boys, even when they would rather stay home with Larry. My momma always said, "Marry a Christian Man", but I didn't get it. She went to church alone (well, with me) and I didn't realize what a big deal it was. I love Larry and I don't regret marrying him, but I do wish he would go to church with me and be involved.

When "I Believe" was playing though, I felt this sense of peace. A sense that it would work out and eventually, he will come around. All of the sudden, Brooks and Dunn took on a whole new meaning in my memories of life.

I've been listening more lately, with my spiritual ears. Hearing God talk to me through other people, the radio, sermons, and now country songs. There are some changes coming to our household, possibly financial, which I can't talk about yet, and hopefully spiritual too. I'm going to just keep praying and listening.


Rebecca said...

I always thought a lot of your mom growing up bringing you to church by herself. I imagine it must be hard.
Isn't it weird the things or situations that end up bringing you peace. When I pray at night, that is usually what I pray for, because in the end everything can be summed up in that one word. PEACE.

BTW, there are certain songs that I still feel weird listening to because of a certain guy from high school who made me a mixed tape of love songs. Going to the concert of the singer won't work for me because Jim Croce is dead. Oh well.

carrie said...

I think it is amazing where we find peace when we get to a point where we are searching. I applaud you for making the boys go and making efforts to go. I will pray for you and thise situations and pray for Larry. Sometimes it takes a long time but don;t give up!

SuZ said...

Ahhh, Brooks and Dunn. They played the soundtrack to all my breakups in middle school... he he he, back when we thought every break up would be the death of our hearts.



tamara said...

Oh, 30 is just the best decade... time to reconcile all those weird emotions from the past and pull closer back to who you are really meant to be. Love you, dear friend! And I am always praying for you!

Amanda said...

First off I can't believe "I Believe" is considered an oldie...really?

"I Believe" was one of those songs that helped me find strength to make it through that rough patch in my life. I always found a peace when I listened to it. Needless to say it has a very special place in my life. It is truely one of those songs that you know God was speaking to the man writing it.

BB said...

All that we are is the result of what we have thought .