Six years ago yesterday, I took a pregnancy test at work and confirmed what I already knew, we were pregnant with our second child. I'm sure there is a blog post about it somewhere, back in my Diaryland archives, but work is blocking me from accessing that.
We were trying to have a second child and thankfully, one round of clomid did the trick. Apparently, when I ovulate, Larry and I are actually pretty fertile.
I was so excited to be pregnant again. The pregnancy progressed almost exactly like my first. Morning sickness the first trimester. Large roundness by the end. Extreme largeness. By the last week or two, I was begging my ob to induce me and he took such pity on me, that he booked two hospitals to make sure I got in to at least one of them.
Thinking back on that time, of course, brings about what I now refer to is "all that happened in January." I'm still not sure how to address or talk about that. I still feel at times I am leading a double life, much like Gwyneth Paltrow's character in Sliding Doors. I'll pause and think, right now I should be 15 weeks. Or right now, I wouldn't be drinking this glass of wine or wearing these clothes. Right now, I would be feeling the baby move. A lot of right nows, I would be. But I'm not.
And while I haven't decided against it, I know intellectually, a baby/toddler/child/teenager is really not what we need right now. Life is already so chaotic with school and homework and sports, that I wonder how we would have fit another life into the mix, even though I know we would have found a way. And then there's the ease that is our life right now amidst the chaos. The boys can entertain themselves. They both know how to swim and ride their bikes and now even tie their shoes.
I'm really trying to focus on the boys more and appreciate them. Concentrate on raising them to be good, Godly men. Oh, but when I am out and someone has their baby, I just want to snatch them and inhale the newborn scent. Munch on their cheeks and thighs. Listen to that first giggle and those sweet little baby noises.
The time goes by so fast. Gosh, Shey was such an easy baby. He slept for hours at a time and rarely cried. I remember calling mom and saying, he sleeps so much! What's wrong? and she replied, that's normal. Peyton never slept. Thankfully he does now.
My little entertainer. Man, I love this kid.
And smart, boy is he smart. Not to brag, ok, to brag. He can count to 100, spell all his colors, knows all his ABCs and their sounds, he's picking up sight words, can now ride a bike and tie his shoes. His pre-K teachers say he's ready for second grade, but I think that's a little high. ha ha He's definitely ready for kindergarten though.
So, even though thinking of pregnancy tests and babies right now, is bitter sweet, this is one time I cherish the thought and am thankful for every little minute.