Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thank you
Well, this is hard. Instead of going into all the heartbreaking details, I really just want to say a heartfelt thank you. Thank you for your prayers and your thoughts. Thank you for your e-mails and your telephone calls. Thank you for everything. It helped to know I wasn't alone.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
What was Happening Tuesday o/k/a Hey! We're Pregnant!
On Wednesday, December 30, I decided it was time to stop messing around and just take a pregnancy test already. I was having those tell-tell signs in my uterus and my boobs were huge and ow! did they hurt. No sooner did the pee pass that little square box that the first line popped up, even quicker than the control line. We were pregnant again!
After October's heartbreak, I was a little more weary of getting too excited, but it was hard not to since the line came up so fast. Over the next week, I took 3 more tests and they all came up just as quickly. Last Wednesday, I went in to the doctor for the initial blood work to see what my hCG and progesterone levels were. I wasn't too worried because of all the positive home tests, but went ahead with the tests to confirm. My doctor called me on Wednesday and said that my progesterone was really low (a 6 and they like it to be at least 15) and my hCG was 2,200. He said the hCG was low too and put me at 4 weeks 5 days, even though I thought I was about a week ahead. I didn't get too concerned because my progesterone was low with Peyton as well and as far as the hCG goes, everything I read showed such a wide range that I was curious as to how he came up with such an exact date.
So anyway, I was prescribed progesterone supplements and told to go in Friday morning for repeat blood work. I didn't hear anything from the doctor's office until Tuesday morning when the nurse called at 8:45 that morning. Almost verbatim, this is what she said,
"You hCG came back at only 2,800 and since it is so low, Dr. A said this isn't a viable pregnancy. He wants you to go in for an ultrasound today to make sure it's not ectopic. Stop the progesterone and also, you'll need to go in next week for more blood work to make sure your levels are continuing to decrease."
AS you can imagine, my world just crumbled. I shut the door to my office and cried and cried. After I calmed down a bit, I started praying. And I know it's easier to say this now, but somehow I thought everything would be ok. I wouldn't have been surprised if things weren't, but I was really expecting them to be.
Somehow, I made it to the hospital for the ultrasound without going crazy and they were able to get me right in. Larry was there with me just hanging out in the background trying not to get in the way. Because I am so early, they had to do the ultrasound (TMI!) transvaginally, which is AWKWARD and then I'm trying to look sideways at the screen without just craning my neck.
As soon as the nurse got to where she should be I saw a flicker. I felt my heart start to race, but I was trying to maintain control. Then she zoomed in and there was little peanut, looking just like s/he should with their little heart beating away. I squeaked out, is that the heart beat? The tech looked at me and smiled and nodded quickly and then I lost it. Poor Larry wasn't sure what was going on. He said he saw the heartbeat too, but wasn't sure if it was where it was supposed to be and I was bawling, so he moved up to my foot and said, "Is it ok?" The tech nodded towards me, cause you know they aren't supposed to tell you anything and I just nodded too.
The tech told me she couldn't say anything especially in light of my blood work, but she hinted that everything looked fine. She also asked how far along I was and when I said, between 6 and 7 weeks, we're not sure, she said, well, you are measuring 6 weeks 4 days. So that was perfect too. So much for my doctor thinking I was measuring behind.
Obviously, I'm not stopping the progesterone and I'm about done with blood work. My doctor still wants me to go in next week for more, but I haven't decided if I am or not. I know we aren't out of the woods as with all pregnancies, but I am trusting that God is watching over this little one and all will be fine.
I can't thank you guys enough for all your prayers on Tuesday. I love Facebook. Such an amazing way to reach your prayer support on such a quick basis! Please still keep us and Kristin in your prayers!
And because you made it through all that, here are some pics from the holidays. Finally.
After October's heartbreak, I was a little more weary of getting too excited, but it was hard not to since the line came up so fast. Over the next week, I took 3 more tests and they all came up just as quickly. Last Wednesday, I went in to the doctor for the initial blood work to see what my hCG and progesterone levels were. I wasn't too worried because of all the positive home tests, but went ahead with the tests to confirm. My doctor called me on Wednesday and said that my progesterone was really low (a 6 and they like it to be at least 15) and my hCG was 2,200. He said the hCG was low too and put me at 4 weeks 5 days, even though I thought I was about a week ahead. I didn't get too concerned because my progesterone was low with Peyton as well and as far as the hCG goes, everything I read showed such a wide range that I was curious as to how he came up with such an exact date.
So anyway, I was prescribed progesterone supplements and told to go in Friday morning for repeat blood work. I didn't hear anything from the doctor's office until Tuesday morning when the nurse called at 8:45 that morning. Almost verbatim, this is what she said,
"You hCG came back at only 2,800 and since it is so low, Dr. A said this isn't a viable pregnancy. He wants you to go in for an ultrasound today to make sure it's not ectopic. Stop the progesterone and also, you'll need to go in next week for more blood work to make sure your levels are continuing to decrease."
AS you can imagine, my world just crumbled. I shut the door to my office and cried and cried. After I calmed down a bit, I started praying. And I know it's easier to say this now, but somehow I thought everything would be ok. I wouldn't have been surprised if things weren't, but I was really expecting them to be.
Somehow, I made it to the hospital for the ultrasound without going crazy and they were able to get me right in. Larry was there with me just hanging out in the background trying not to get in the way. Because I am so early, they had to do the ultrasound (TMI!) transvaginally, which is AWKWARD and then I'm trying to look sideways at the screen without just craning my neck.
As soon as the nurse got to where she should be I saw a flicker. I felt my heart start to race, but I was trying to maintain control. Then she zoomed in and there was little peanut, looking just like s/he should with their little heart beating away. I squeaked out, is that the heart beat? The tech looked at me and smiled and nodded quickly and then I lost it. Poor Larry wasn't sure what was going on. He said he saw the heartbeat too, but wasn't sure if it was where it was supposed to be and I was bawling, so he moved up to my foot and said, "Is it ok?" The tech nodded towards me, cause you know they aren't supposed to tell you anything and I just nodded too.
The tech told me she couldn't say anything especially in light of my blood work, but she hinted that everything looked fine. She also asked how far along I was and when I said, between 6 and 7 weeks, we're not sure, she said, well, you are measuring 6 weeks 4 days. So that was perfect too. So much for my doctor thinking I was measuring behind.
Obviously, I'm not stopping the progesterone and I'm about done with blood work. My doctor still wants me to go in next week for more, but I haven't decided if I am or not. I know we aren't out of the woods as with all pregnancies, but I am trusting that God is watching over this little one and all will be fine.
I can't thank you guys enough for all your prayers on Tuesday. I love Facebook. Such an amazing way to reach your prayer support on such a quick basis! Please still keep us and Kristin in your prayers!
And because you made it through all that, here are some pics from the holidays. Finally.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Needing a Bigger Bed
There are so many schools of thought and opinions when it comes to the subject of the "Family Bed." Some people say absolutely not. Some share their bed with their kid for years. I never try to argue with anyone when it comes to the sleeping arrangements of their household. I know what has worked for us and Larry and I are both good with that.
We've always pretty much had an open bed policy. When Peyton was a baby, he slept with us a lot. I would put him to sleep in his crib, but he was a notoriously horrible sleeper and generally in the middle of the night would end up in our bed. When I was pregnant with Shey, I was too tired to fight the bed battle, and he even started out the night in our bed. We eventually moved him to a big boy bed and the nightly visits dwindled dramatically, but then we had another new baby who crept into our bed.
Now that Peyton is older and roughly the size of a grown adult (hello, giant child!), his treks into our bed have all but diminished. He'll still come in sometimes in the early mornings, but it's rare.
Shey though still sneaks in pretty regularly. Thankfully, he has learned to go to Larry's side, so while Shey is becoming a horrible bed buddy, at least I'm not aware of it. Well, until the three of us all end up on my quarter of the bed.
Sometimes though, like early, early this morning, BOTH boys worm their way in and we all fight for a spot to lay.
I know these times are rapidly coming to an end, and while I may bitch about the lack of sleep, I can't help but love the time we are all together. I feel like with Larry and I working full time and the boys being so busy with sports and school, that nighttime, even when we are asleep, is a time we can all reconnect. I hope the boys remember these snuggle sessions with fondness and know that even when their parents are fussing at them, that there was also so much love that we sacrificed our sleep for them. And Lord knows, as well as most my friends and family, how much I LOVE my sleep!
And when they come out with an Emperor size bed, we will be the first in line!
We've always pretty much had an open bed policy. When Peyton was a baby, he slept with us a lot. I would put him to sleep in his crib, but he was a notoriously horrible sleeper and generally in the middle of the night would end up in our bed. When I was pregnant with Shey, I was too tired to fight the bed battle, and he even started out the night in our bed. We eventually moved him to a big boy bed and the nightly visits dwindled dramatically, but then we had another new baby who crept into our bed.
Now that Peyton is older and roughly the size of a grown adult (hello, giant child!), his treks into our bed have all but diminished. He'll still come in sometimes in the early mornings, but it's rare.
Shey though still sneaks in pretty regularly. Thankfully, he has learned to go to Larry's side, so while Shey is becoming a horrible bed buddy, at least I'm not aware of it. Well, until the three of us all end up on my quarter of the bed.
Sometimes though, like early, early this morning, BOTH boys worm their way in and we all fight for a spot to lay.
I know these times are rapidly coming to an end, and while I may bitch about the lack of sleep, I can't help but love the time we are all together. I feel like with Larry and I working full time and the boys being so busy with sports and school, that nighttime, even when we are asleep, is a time we can all reconnect. I hope the boys remember these snuggle sessions with fondness and know that even when their parents are fussing at them, that there was also so much love that we sacrificed our sleep for them. And Lord knows, as well as most my friends and family, how much I LOVE my sleep!
And when they come out with an Emperor size bed, we will be the first in line!
Monday, January 04, 2010
Baby, It's Cold Outside
It's funny the things you remember and that stick with you over the years. Little inconsequential conversations that play through your mind when certain external forces bring them to the forefront of your thoughts.
One little memory of mine that always surfaces when it is cold outside is from elementary school. I think third or fourth grade during the winter months when we were all bundled up in our warmest coats walking across campus to the high school library. We ran into Mr. T, the chorus and Bible teacher, outside and he was dressed in a thin long sleeve shirt, with a sweater vest, a woolen cap and a cup of coffee. I'm not sure who started the conversation with him, but someone asked, "Aren't you cold?" Mr. T, who always appeared to know everything, told us wisely that as long as your hands, feet, chest and top of your head were warm, that the rest of you would be too. He explained how the heat escaped from these extremities and made you feel colder.
(I wonder if that is how football players stay warm in the sub-zero temps? Their helmets and padding keep their heads and chests warm and most of them wear gloves for their hands. Just looking at their bare arms makes me shiver.)
I wonder why that conversation with a high school teacher on a cold winter day made such an impression on me that I've remembered it all these years? Now I have a hard time remembering what I did last week. ha
We had a great, relaxing holiday season. Not too crazy with no big plans. Actually, the most exciting thing that happened was Peyton finally decided he was ready to learn how to ride his bike and once the decision was made, within 10 minutes, he was off on his own. Turning and stopping and starting, acting like he had been riding for years. It's been so long since he learned something new like that that I had forgotten that Peyton has to make up his mind before he does anything, but once he does, it just comes to him. He caught on so easily that Larry and I just stared, amazed at him. He can be such a great kid. I pray that I show him that on a daily basis even when he is trying my patience to the limit.
I'll try to remember to bring in my camera to work so I can post some pictures tomorrow.
One little memory of mine that always surfaces when it is cold outside is from elementary school. I think third or fourth grade during the winter months when we were all bundled up in our warmest coats walking across campus to the high school library. We ran into Mr. T, the chorus and Bible teacher, outside and he was dressed in a thin long sleeve shirt, with a sweater vest, a woolen cap and a cup of coffee. I'm not sure who started the conversation with him, but someone asked, "Aren't you cold?" Mr. T, who always appeared to know everything, told us wisely that as long as your hands, feet, chest and top of your head were warm, that the rest of you would be too. He explained how the heat escaped from these extremities and made you feel colder.
(I wonder if that is how football players stay warm in the sub-zero temps? Their helmets and padding keep their heads and chests warm and most of them wear gloves for their hands. Just looking at their bare arms makes me shiver.)
I wonder why that conversation with a high school teacher on a cold winter day made such an impression on me that I've remembered it all these years? Now I have a hard time remembering what I did last week. ha
We had a great, relaxing holiday season. Not too crazy with no big plans. Actually, the most exciting thing that happened was Peyton finally decided he was ready to learn how to ride his bike and once the decision was made, within 10 minutes, he was off on his own. Turning and stopping and starting, acting like he had been riding for years. It's been so long since he learned something new like that that I had forgotten that Peyton has to make up his mind before he does anything, but once he does, it just comes to him. He caught on so easily that Larry and I just stared, amazed at him. He can be such a great kid. I pray that I show him that on a daily basis even when he is trying my patience to the limit.
I'll try to remember to bring in my camera to work so I can post some pictures tomorrow.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sheydy Day
Sunday was Shey's first soccer game and yesterday, he turned five! It's been a big week. If you were ever curious as to what my heart looks like, here he is.
Peyton is my will, but Shey is my heart. Oh that little boy. He has to have one of the sweetest spirits you will ever meet.
We had a big afternoon at a local amusement park area. Playing video games, riding go-carts and a round of mini-golf. Since it was in the afternoon in the middle of the week, we had the place to ourselves.
Did I mention, he's also goofy? Shey's a born entertainer. I'm trying to record him when I can for his apecials on TV once he hits it big.
I love you, baby. Happy Birthday!
Peyton is my will, but Shey is my heart. Oh that little boy. He has to have one of the sweetest spirits you will ever meet.
We had a big afternoon at a local amusement park area. Playing video games, riding go-carts and a round of mini-golf. Since it was in the afternoon in the middle of the week, we had the place to ourselves.
Did I mention, he's also goofy? Shey's a born entertainer. I'm trying to record him when I can for his apecials on TV once he hits it big.
I love you, baby. Happy Birthday!
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Photos
Not much in a posting mood lately. The holidays are upon us and we are so busy the next few weeks, I'm not even sure when I will get decorations up. Mom just sent me these photos of her when she was a little girl and I thought I would post them. I love looking at old photos of my family.
This one is my mom and her parents with her cousin Anna.
Here is my mom, parents, my great grandparents and um, not sure about the rest. :)
This one is my mom and her parents with her cousin Anna.
Here is my mom, parents, my great grandparents and um, not sure about the rest. :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Firsts
Taken from The Glamorous Life.
First memory: Being dropped off at the babysitter's and I had to poop, but I didn't know the lady well enough to get my hiney wiped. I remember the bathroom, but not sure what happened after that.
First celebrity obsession crush: Corey Feldman - Such a shame he turned into such a weirdo.
First dog: Strider - A doberman mix
First cat: Poppy
First memory of being jealous: I'm not sure. I'm sure it had something to do with a boy liking someone besides me.
First ‘boy friend’: Jordan Norman in 6th grade. I remember holding hands in chapel and covering it up so no one would see.
First kiss: Jason Elliot a week or so before my 15th birthday. It was nasty.
First date: Movies at Tamara's house with the above nasty kisser. (Fifel Goes West. ha ha)
First sleepover: I was always having friends over and it started in 1st grade. Kerry Sewell would have been my first friend to stay over.
First time attending Sunday School: um, as a baby
First roller coaster ride: American Scream Machine at 6 Flags over Georgia
First favorite brand name: I think Guess, but I didn't have any of their jeans.
First pair of legwarmers: Never!
First huge misunderstanding: 6th grade at our class lock-in. My BFFs got mad at me for hanging out with other people (?!?!) and we were mad at each other through 6th grade graduation.
First cell phone: I honestly don't remember. I remember my mom getting one, but not mine.
First computer: An HP in 1997.
First huge disappointment: I'm sure it happened 6th grade year. That was an emotional turmoil of a year.
First Regret: Not going away for college
First big family vacation: We went to the beach a lot growing up. Probably the first really big trip though with my parents was to Disney a couple of years ago.
First trip to Europe: Hasn't happened yet.
First heartbreak: ohhhh, Robert, Robert, Robert.
First stay in the hospital: 2002 when Peyton was born
First car: Baby Blue Toyota Corolla hatchback. But it had a sunroof!
First license: On my 16th Birthday. The emergency brake didn't work, so we had to take it to the shop first.
First Convertible: Larry's Volvo C70 in midnight blue.
First ‘mom’ car: Ford Explorer
First time on an ATC/Quad: Probably when I was 15 or so?
First job: A gift wrapper for the holidays
First paycheck: see above, or the numerous baby-sitting jobs beforehand
First apartment: in Montgomery. Taylor Crossing apartments, I think.
First house: in Coral Springs, the one we are in now.
First husband: Larry and only
First memory: Being dropped off at the babysitter's and I had to poop, but I didn't know the lady well enough to get my hiney wiped. I remember the bathroom, but not sure what happened after that.
First celebrity obsession crush: Corey Feldman - Such a shame he turned into such a weirdo.
First dog: Strider - A doberman mix
First cat: Poppy
First memory of being jealous: I'm not sure. I'm sure it had something to do with a boy liking someone besides me.
First ‘boy friend’: Jordan Norman in 6th grade. I remember holding hands in chapel and covering it up so no one would see.
First kiss: Jason Elliot a week or so before my 15th birthday. It was nasty.
First date: Movies at Tamara's house with the above nasty kisser. (Fifel Goes West. ha ha)
First sleepover: I was always having friends over and it started in 1st grade. Kerry Sewell would have been my first friend to stay over.
First time attending Sunday School: um, as a baby
First roller coaster ride: American Scream Machine at 6 Flags over Georgia
First favorite brand name: I think Guess, but I didn't have any of their jeans.
First pair of legwarmers: Never!
First huge misunderstanding: 6th grade at our class lock-in. My BFFs got mad at me for hanging out with other people (?!?!) and we were mad at each other through 6th grade graduation.
First cell phone: I honestly don't remember. I remember my mom getting one, but not mine.
First computer: An HP in 1997.
First huge disappointment: I'm sure it happened 6th grade year. That was an emotional turmoil of a year.
First Regret: Not going away for college
First big family vacation: We went to the beach a lot growing up. Probably the first really big trip though with my parents was to Disney a couple of years ago.
First trip to Europe: Hasn't happened yet.
First heartbreak: ohhhh, Robert, Robert, Robert.
First stay in the hospital: 2002 when Peyton was born
First car: Baby Blue Toyota Corolla hatchback. But it had a sunroof!
First license: On my 16th Birthday. The emergency brake didn't work, so we had to take it to the shop first.
First Convertible: Larry's Volvo C70 in midnight blue.
First ‘mom’ car: Ford Explorer
First time on an ATC/Quad: Probably when I was 15 or so?
First job: A gift wrapper for the holidays
First paycheck: see above, or the numerous baby-sitting jobs beforehand
First apartment: in Montgomery. Taylor Crossing apartments, I think.
First house: in Coral Springs, the one we are in now.
First husband: Larry and only
Friday, November 06, 2009
Halloween
The boys both went as Ninjas for Halloween because they could get swords, but of course by the time Halloween rolled around, Pyton's sword was broken so they had to share Shey's. Oh well. We still had a lot of fun as always. Shey was so in to trick or treating this year and ran right up to every house, even the scary houses. Peyton started off as the moody want-to-be teenager he is, but eventually got into the spirit as well.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Halloween Fun
First you take a pumpkin and you cut it, you cut it, you cut it, cut it, cut it.
The you scoop it, you scoop it, you scoop it, scoop it, scoop it.
The you carve it, you carve it, you carve it, carve it, carve it.
Jack o, Jack o Lantern, Jack o!
Jack o, Jack o Lantern, Jack o!
The you scoop it, you scoop it, you scoop it, scoop it, scoop it.
The you carve it, you carve it, you carve it, carve it, carve it.
Jack o, Jack o Lantern, Jack o!
Jack o, Jack o Lantern, Jack o!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Leaving on a Jet Plane
In a few hours, Shey and I will be boarding a plane heading to the old homestead. My parents will get the pleasure of watching the little guy, while I get some quality time in with my best girl, Tamara.
After the past three weeks that I have had, which contained some of the worst days of my life, I am definitely looking forward to a break and a getaway.
We'll be attending our high school football game which should be a pretty surreal experience. I look at myself in the mirror and don't think I look any different, but I know once I step on that campus and see the youngin's running around, I will feel every bit of my 32 years.
I can't really say that my high school years were terrible, but then again, I've blocked a good deal of that time out, so who knows for sure. ha I do remember a lot of good times though, chorus trips, football games, playing volleyball and just hanging out. It will be strange to not recognize the players on the field and the kids filling up the bleachers. Thankfully, with a school as small as ours, most of the teachers should still be there and we'll have someone to sit with. ha ha
Now, what do I wear . . .
After the past three weeks that I have had, which contained some of the worst days of my life, I am definitely looking forward to a break and a getaway.
We'll be attending our high school football game which should be a pretty surreal experience. I look at myself in the mirror and don't think I look any different, but I know once I step on that campus and see the youngin's running around, I will feel every bit of my 32 years.
I can't really say that my high school years were terrible, but then again, I've blocked a good deal of that time out, so who knows for sure. ha I do remember a lot of good times though, chorus trips, football games, playing volleyball and just hanging out. It will be strange to not recognize the players on the field and the kids filling up the bleachers. Thankfully, with a school as small as ours, most of the teachers should still be there and we'll have someone to sit with. ha ha
Now, what do I wear . . .
Monday, October 19, 2009
Relaxing Weekend
Tuesday is Larry's birthday, so Saturday was dubbed his day. His parents had the boys, so we slept in Saturday morning, then went and played a round of golf. Before you get the wrong idea, this was only the second complete round of golf that I have ever played, but it was his day, so that's what we did. We had a really great time though and it was a much needed relaxing day. We even both parred on the same hole!
Sunday, we went to a friend's house who lives on a lake and they have their own little section of "beach" with a big dock. The boys love it there and ran around all afternoon long. There were a few other couples there and two of them had new babies. It was a bit bittersweet. I did hold this darling three month old little girl until she snuggled in and went to sleep and I think that pretty much sealed the deal that I do want to try for another one.
I got some good pictures too from my new camera . . .
Sunday, we went to a friend's house who lives on a lake and they have their own little section of "beach" with a big dock. The boys love it there and ran around all afternoon long. There were a few other couples there and two of them had new babies. It was a bit bittersweet. I did hold this darling three month old little girl until she snuggled in and went to sleep and I think that pretty much sealed the deal that I do want to try for another one.
I got some good pictures too from my new camera . . .
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Pumpkin Patch
Living in South Florida, we don't have real pumpkin patches, but we do have nice churches who set up pumpkins in their yards with hay and scarecrows for the kids to visit. Tuesday was Shey's first field trip to the pumpkin patch and I was able to go along. The kids had a great time.
On another note, for those of you who have been following my cryptic messages on Facebook, here's the short story.
My cycles have been getting increasingly wacky and last week I took a pregnancy test in order to call my doctor and tell him I needed some medication to bring on Aunt Flo. Well, low and behold, the test came back positive, faint, but there. I was in shock because while we weren't really protecting against, we weren't trying either and it took us a while to get pregnant with both the boys. I tested again a couple of days later and the line was still light, really light. I went in for a blood test and it came back positive, but just barely and my estrogen was high. I went back yesterday to test again, but last night I finally got my period. It seems I had a chemical pregnancy, and I am guessing that the egg never implanted.
What a roller coaster, from shock to excitement to extreme dissapointment. Like all heartaches, this is one you can't really understand till it happens to you. I'm kinda numb now and also thankful that I wasn't any farther along. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
So now we are left with the decision to go forward full blown, or to back off. Or I guess we could just go with the flow like we were, but that was a bit nerve wracking. If I am going to go forward, I would like it to happen before my birthday in April, which would put the baby 6 years behind Shey! Crazy! I don't think I'd want them to be any farther apart.
So there's that. Thank you all for your prayers, from the friends who knew and from the friends who didn't. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful support staff and I love you all.
On another note, for those of you who have been following my cryptic messages on Facebook, here's the short story.
My cycles have been getting increasingly wacky and last week I took a pregnancy test in order to call my doctor and tell him I needed some medication to bring on Aunt Flo. Well, low and behold, the test came back positive, faint, but there. I was in shock because while we weren't really protecting against, we weren't trying either and it took us a while to get pregnant with both the boys. I tested again a couple of days later and the line was still light, really light. I went in for a blood test and it came back positive, but just barely and my estrogen was high. I went back yesterday to test again, but last night I finally got my period. It seems I had a chemical pregnancy, and I am guessing that the egg never implanted.
What a roller coaster, from shock to excitement to extreme dissapointment. Like all heartaches, this is one you can't really understand till it happens to you. I'm kinda numb now and also thankful that I wasn't any farther along. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
So now we are left with the decision to go forward full blown, or to back off. Or I guess we could just go with the flow like we were, but that was a bit nerve wracking. If I am going to go forward, I would like it to happen before my birthday in April, which would put the baby 6 years behind Shey! Crazy! I don't think I'd want them to be any farther apart.
So there's that. Thank you all for your prayers, from the friends who knew and from the friends who didn't. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful support staff and I love you all.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Local Family Needs Help
This just breaks my heart. I know times are tough, but if you have any extra money around, this family could use it. For the Love of Joshua.
Joshua was born 9 weeks premature and because of it, he has severe brain damage, epilepsy, cerebral palsy, and blindness. The school where Joshua's older brother attends is having a craft fair for the family with all the proceeds going towards a new treatment that has a 60% chance of helping reverse his brain damage. The treatment is $8,000.00 and they need $3,000.00 more. A lady I work with knows the family, so it is a true story.
I can't even imagine.
Joshua was born 9 weeks premature and because of it, he has severe brain damage, epilepsy, cerebral palsy, and blindness. The school where Joshua's older brother attends is having a craft fair for the family with all the proceeds going towards a new treatment that has a 60% chance of helping reverse his brain damage. The treatment is $8,000.00 and they need $3,000.00 more. A lady I work with knows the family, so it is a true story.
I can't even imagine.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Fridays
Fridays just feel different. There is an air of excitement for the upcoming weekend. An air of anticipation of not waking up and having to be somewhere. A sense of accomplishment of finishing another week. A relief as things kinda wind down and slow down. A little extra time for lunch. A phone call with a friend. A little more office chat than normal.
Glorious, Glorious Friday.
Glorious, Glorious Friday.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
At a Loss
This morning, I asked Shey to get dressed and rather than politely asking, "Mom, please pause my show so that I may do your wishes," he decided to scream no and bury himself under the covers. My response to that was to grab the remote, turn the TV off and go into my bathroom to finish getting ready. This led to 15 minutes of whining and crying and carrying on and no TV watching while Shey tried to negotiate his getting dressed. By the time he realized I was not giving in and his clothes were on his person, his show was off. So sad, too bad.
This though, of course, led to more blubbering until I corralled him out the door, into the car and off to school.
I would like to think that Shey learned something this morning, but I have a feeling that this is not the case and his 4 almost 5 year old brain will forget the lesson rather quickly and we will be repeating this again.
This though, of course, led to more blubbering until I corralled him out the door, into the car and off to school.
I would like to think that Shey learned something this morning, but I have a feeling that this is not the case and his 4 almost 5 year old brain will forget the lesson rather quickly and we will be repeating this again.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Mix Tape
I was listening to Lifesong by Casting Crowns on the way home and started thinking about songs I would put on a mix tape to take to that deserted island that I could never leave and had to listen to over and over again. These are all Christian contemporary/rock/pop, I guess, I'm not good at classifications. Also, I like music I can sing along with and in the car with Way FM blasting is probably the best time of worship for me. So, here they are.
Praise You in this Storm - Casting Crowns
Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns
(Actually, the whole Lifesong CD is amazing, but I will stop with these two)
Yahweh - Need to Breathe
Amazing Grace - Chris Tomlin
This is Your Life - Switchfoot
Diverse City - Tobymac
By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North
Mighty to Save - Hillsong
Indescribable - Chris Tomlin
Looks Like Love - Need to Breathe
Revelation - Third Day
Stand in the Rain - Superchicks
That's a good start for now. Leave me your faves in the comment section.
Praise You in this Storm - Casting Crowns
Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns
(Actually, the whole Lifesong CD is amazing, but I will stop with these two)
Yahweh - Need to Breathe
Amazing Grace - Chris Tomlin
This is Your Life - Switchfoot
Diverse City - Tobymac
By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North
Mighty to Save - Hillsong
Indescribable - Chris Tomlin
Looks Like Love - Need to Breathe
Revelation - Third Day
Stand in the Rain - Superchicks
That's a good start for now. Leave me your faves in the comment section.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
A New Read and Our Rocking Church
I've really enjoyed reading Pastor Ryan's blog the past few months. He doesn't look like your conventional pastor, but his love of the Lord shines through and his messages are always heartfelt. This recent entry on discontent really struck me. Who hasn't been here or is living there now?
And here is our rocking church and one of the reasons I love it so much. "Dead and Gone" What better way to reach people than give them something they know and turn it into a lesson about dying to sin?
And here is our rocking church and one of the reasons I love it so much. "Dead and Gone" What better way to reach people than give them something they know and turn it into a lesson about dying to sin?
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Forces to Be Reckoned With
This is how Larry and I knew we were meant to be together:
2009 Hurricane Names
Ana
Bill
Claudette
Danny
Erika
Fred
Grace
Henri
Ida
Joaquin
Kate
Larry
Mindy
Nicholas
Odette
Peter
Rose
Sam
Teresa
Victor
Wanda
Edited to add: I'm Unpredictible! Tropical Storm Erika getting harder to track
2009 Hurricane Names
Ana
Bill
Claudette
Danny
Erika
Fred
Grace
Henri
Ida
Joaquin
Kate
Larry
Mindy
Nicholas
Odette
Peter
Rose
Sam
Teresa
Victor
Wanda
Edited to add: I'm Unpredictible! Tropical Storm Erika getting harder to track
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